To be Zen is to be calm, serene. It is a whole state of mind that applies equally well in family, romantic, or work relationships.
Every family deserves a moment of harmony in this constantly searching world! Our children are the anchor that brings us back to the essentials of life. Find out more about how to be Zen in the family.
How can we remain Zen with the family in the particular conditions we are currently experiencing? This is the new question that arises in order to help you get through this period peacefully with your darlings. Because indeed, the current imposed confinement is a boon for some families who do not have the opportunity to devote enough time to their daily lives in normal times. For other tribes, it can be difficult to bring different expectations and personalities together under one roof all the time.
In this article, discover some tips to stay Zen with your family
1. The break time
It is a tool that helps you stay calm when a crisis breaks out. Incredible, right? You have for sure noticed that when you are upset angry, you are emotional and more rational. In scientific language, this means that your reptilian brain has taken over your prefrontal cortex, and there, you can no longer reason! This means that it is impossible, at this precise moment, to end your child's crisis in a benevolent way. You just risk freaking out, overbidding, punishing, but none of this will be productive, and above all, no lesson can be learned from it.
The pause time is a bit like a 'time out,' a breath of fresh air in an emotional whirlwind. We move away to refocus, reconnect with ourselves and make decisions, let's say socially acceptable. It's completely personal, and your way of taking a break will be different from that of your spouse, your friend, and your child. Because yes, everyone can take a break, including your child! To allow you to regain your calm, you can go away to drink a large glass of cold water, take a mini-walk in your garden, let off steam on your pillow, sit in your favorite place in the house. It's up to you to find what suits you best.
Be careful; taking a break does not mean practicing the policy of the ostrich. The idea is not to walk away and act as if nothing had happened. Once the overflow has taken place, and everyone has been able to refocus, we move on to repair. The important thing is not to speak or make a decision out of emotion.
Setting up a break time:
Discuss as a family: we take some time as a family to discuss the break time and its many benefits. If every family member uses it in times of crisis, the child will not associate it with punishment. Indeed, if he is the only one to isolate himself to take a break, he would then have an effect as harmful as the 'corner.'
Choose your break time: everyone chooses their way of living their break time, the goal being to feel better before taking action.
Talking about after the break time: we insist on the fact that the break time is an intermediate stage between the moment when the crisis takes place and the moment when we will look together for solutions to repair the error. To avoid reacting hotly is not to be lax but to give yourself the means to be able to learn from what has happened and move forward.
2. Rituals
Here is a second tool that will make your family life more peaceful: rituals. Setting up rituals is reassuring and securing for the child. Indeed, it needs a benevolent framework to grow and develop. It is better to say rituals rather than routines. The routines remind us a bit of the army, and the goal is not to restrict the child but to give him a common thread so that the sequence of actions to be carried out takes place as calmly as possible. With a frame that is too wide, the child gets lost.
On the other hand, in a too tight framework, it cannot flourish. By setting up a ritual, we help the child to visualize all the steps of the action he is performing. This will allow him to identify himself better, to know what he has already done and what he still has to do.
By dint of being repeated, these habits of life become integrated into his way of life, and little by little, the child will find it normal to follow his ritual because every evening, it is the same. But, of course, he will also appreciate, from time to time, evenings that are a little different, a little 'special,' because he can go to bed later, stay longer in the bath, or go to sleep at his grandparents.' But, since the ritual will be well anchored, he will be able to return to it more easily.
3. Take care of yourself as a priority to be Zen
Before being able to take care of others, it is essential to think of yourself first. It may sound selfish said like that, but if you are stressed, tired, irritated, you will not be able to accommodate the emotions of your children and the whole family.
If you want your family to be more Zen, you have to be yourself. You are a model for your little child imitator. You might not notice it, but he's worse than Big Brother! He observes you in every detail; don't worry, he is completely normal, and it is by observing you that he builds himself and structures his world.
