Getting along with your siblings, especially when they're younger, has proven difficult for teenagers. The bigger the age gap, the merrier the problems and misunderstandings. Even parents struggle to keep peace in the family at the dinner table or at family gatherings when siblings' rivalry peaks.
If you have a younger sister, brother, or more, you may know how difficult it is to relate to them. However, since the feelings are mutual, parental conflict resolution is insufficient in navigating these issues. Unfortunately, some parents also don't realize when they're being too pushy or ignorant and might oversee when things get complicated.
That's why, as the older sibling, you might find ways to bond with your little family member and also learn one or two things about yourself. Let's dive in.
Establish a weekly time for yourselves
While you've got school and social life, younger siblings have less time to stress about these things and are often getting bored. However, introducing some predictable activities into their itinerary along with you can strengthen the bond.
For example, if your sibling is a fan of Miffy, the cute small white bunny, you can search for events near you that include the famous figure and try to attend as often as you can. In these little adventures, your younger siblings can play with other kids of the same age, read stories about the bunny, and spend some time in the green space allocated for kids.
Taking your siblings to Miffytown is the easiest way to provide them some enjoyment while bonding. Since activities usually have a theme, you can take them year-round to plant flowers in the spring, carve Miffy pumpkins in the fall, and meet Miffy in person during Christmas.
Become curious about their interests
One of the biggest mistakes older siblings make with their little brothers or sisters is mocking their interests or simply not caring. Unfortunately, this is a typical sibling dynamic, and it deepens the differences between families since kids can go silent and never share what they're passionate about again.
Are they into Peppa Pig, Minecraft, or silly videos on YouTube? Make a small effort to start a conversation about it. It doesn't have to be logical or make sense― it just matters because you're sending an important message to your younger siblings.
This effort also fosters a feeling of security and trust. Since they will know they matter to you, small kids can return the favor and become more understanding of your need to be alone or to have a different lifestyle.
Try to be understanding
We know small kids sometimes can be difficult ―even more so than teenagers! Jokes aside, it's best to be a little bit understanding when kids throw a fit because they're still learning about their emotions and how to react to their surroundings.
Different sibling dynamics also affect how some children act. For example, if you're the oldest kid, you may be confident and prone to taking the lead. This makes you a perfectionist, so mistakes, including those of younger siblings, are not allowed. Understanding these characteristics can help you fix certain behaviors.
The middle child, on the other hand, is usually the opposite of the older sibling but is pretty independent. Finally, the younger sibling is prone to becoming rebellious, especially since parents tend to spoil them more. This triggers the behavior that older siblings usually dislike the most, but it comes from a particular place.
Set healthy boundaries
As a teenager, it might be difficult to set healthy boundaries with siblings, especially when making parents understand how much you need them is challenging. Everyone should have boundaries that even close people should not cross because this can mean a lack of respect and trust, which is disappointing for every person.
However, making younger siblings understand boundaries can be nearly impossible. This might be the time to involve the parents as well, but only if they're willing to understand the matter. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, and even material, and there's nothing wrong with prioritizing yours.
While young kids may not understand them fully, setting boundaries for them can mean saying “no” more often while being polite and explaining, as well as you can, why they should not do something. Going through your clothes or personal items should not be overlooked, especially when they're making a mess.
Ask for help when needed
Finally, sometimes you simply can't resolve a conflict, but lashing out at your younger siblings is also not ideal. Therefore, it may be time to ask for help from parents (if they understand) or teachers and school counselors.
Relying on these people for advice and emotional support can be the best thing you can do while navigating schoolwork and the regular struggles of a teenager. Remember not to put all the pressure on yourself because kids will grow and eventually understand, but it's still the parent's responsibility to make amends.
At the same time, teachers and counselors might help identify and correct some of your actions, such as picking on your younger siblings, even though you're not doing it with ill intentions. Sometimes, we hurt the people around us without noticing, and vice versa. In your teenage years, you'll learn a lot of lessons as you grow old. Still, the most important thing is maintaining relationships with your parents and siblings without sacrificing your well-being and respecting theirs.
What's the next activity you plan to do with your younger sibling?
Sibling bickering is normal and sometimes a sign of love and trust. However, it often becomes more intense, especially when teens start being harsh with their younger siblings. As teenagers, we know how difficult it is to balance everything, from school to social life, but making even the slightest effort to get along with your siblings will have a massive impact on your relationship. So, try getting more interested in their hobbies, understand your dynamic, and get help when needed.
