Despite what you see on television, divorce proceedings aren’t always screaming matches in front of a judge. They can be straightforward, stress-free, and respectful processes in which both parties agree on all matters. As daunting as divorce is, your experience may be easier than you anticipated by taking note of this advice:
Choose An Experienced Lawyer
The best divorce lawyer is one who has your best interests at heart and will fight for your rights while considering all circumstances. They are also there to answer the many questions you likely have, such as ‘what do we do about the kids?’ and ‘who keeps equity after a divorce?’
An experienced lawyer can also help you choose the most suitable divorce process to suit your unique situation, such as a collaborative divorce in which everyone agrees to avoid litigation and work toward a negotiated settlement, or an uncontested divorce if you agree to all major terms and want to file without a trial.
Make Communication Your Priority
Communication might be one of the main problems in relationships that contribute to divorce, but it doesn’t have to be what makes your divorce challenging. Make good communication your priority as divorce proceedings get underway.
Stay factual and respectful to avoid placing blame or contributing to emotional escalation. It can also help to use neutral language so your ex-spouse doesn’t see your communication as a personal attack. If necessary, use a collaborative lawyer or mediator to enter into discussions.
Be Financially Transparent
Money can be a main source of arguments in a divorce as you try to work out who is entitled to what. While you may not always be able to avoid arguments, maintaining financial transparency can undoubtedly help.
Gather and share all financial documents as soon as they’re required, such as debts, assets, and income. Be honest about your finances, as hiding assets can lead to delays and mistrust. If you have a particularly complex financial situation due to investments and significant assets, you may wish to consult a financial planner who can help create a fair plan for both parties.
Put the Kids First
Divorce can often be so much harder when children are involved. You have to provide a stable home environment and present a united front, despite your feelings. Always put your kids first, even if their other parent is making it difficult.
Keep them out of adult conflicts, and don’t use them as messengers when you don’t want to speak to your ex-spouse. You should also devise a clear and consistent parenting plan to ensure stability. Positive co-parenting is entirely possible.
Stay Organized
There can be a lot involved in a divorce, even when it’s entirely straightforward and agreed upon by both parties. Make divorce proceedings less messy by staying organized. Keep copies of all documents, including agreements, legal filings, and emails. If you have children together, create a shared calendar so you’re both kept in the loop with appointments and parenting schedules. If it helps, treat the divorce process like a business negotiation, rather than a personal battle.
Take Care of Yourself
There are ways to make divorce proceedings less messy, but that doesn’t mean they don’t take an emotional toll. It’s a deeply emotional process, not just a legal one. Don’t underestimate the value of therapy or counseling, whether it’s just for you or for you and your ex-spouse as coparents.
Divorce doesn’t have to be as messy as it looks in the movies. Take these actions above, and you may experience a straightforward and seamless divorce process for all involved.
