We've all been there—agonizing over a decision, replaying every possible outcome, and second-guessing ourselves into exhaustion. Whether it's choosing a career path, making a big life change, or even deciding what to say in a conversation, self-doubt can be paralyzing.
But here's the truth: You don't struggle with decisions because you're bad at making them. You struggle because you don't trust yourself.
When self-doubt takes over, we start looking outward for reassurance—seeking advice, weighing endless options, and obsessing over getting it right. The more we do this, the more disconnected we become from our own instincts. And over time, that self-doubt turns into a habit—one that keeps us stuck.
Why We Struggle to Trust Ourselves
Self-trust isn't something we're born with—it's something we develop. And if you struggle with trusting yourself, there's a reason for it. Some common causes include:
1. Fear of Making the Wrong Choice
Many of us were taught that mistakes = failure. So we overanalyze every decision, trying to guarantee the “right” outcome. But the reality? Most decisions aren't as high-stakes as we make them out to be. Even if things don't go as planned, we always have the ability to adjust and course-correct.
2. Over-Reliance on External Validation
If you've spent years prioritizing other people's opinions over your own, it makes sense that trusting yourself feels difficult. When we constantly seek reassurance, we weaken our ability to trust our own judgment.
3. Perfectionism & Fear of Regret
Perfectionists tend to get stuck in decision paralysis because they believe there's always a “best” choice. But life doesn't work that way. Self-trust comes from accepting that no decision is perfect—and that's okay.
4. Past Mistakes That Shook Your Confidence
If you've made choices in the past that didn't work out, you might hesitate to trust yourself again. But self-trust isn't about never making mistakes—it's about believing in your ability to handle whatever comes next.
How to Start Trusting Yourself Again
If self-doubt has been running the show, the good news is you can rebuild self-trust. Here's how:
1. Recognize That Self-Doubt Is a Habit—Not the Truth
When you catch yourself spiraling into indecision, pause and ask: Is this actual logic, or is this just self-doubt doing its thing? Often, self-doubt isn't based on reality—it's just an old pattern playing on repeat.
2. Start Small & Build Up
You don't have to start with life-changing decisions. Start small: What do you want for lunch? What's your gut feeling about a simple choice? The more you practice making choices without second-guessing, the stronger your decision-making muscle gets.
3. Get Still & Listen to Yourself
Most of us are so used to thinking our way through decisions that we ignore how they feel. Next time you're struggling, try this:
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Close your eyes and imagine making one choice. How does your body react?
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Now, imagine the other option. What changes?
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Your intuition speaks through sensations, not words. Pay attention.
4. Stop Asking Everyone for Advice
Next time you feel the urge to poll five different people before making a decision, pause. Instead, ask yourself: What do I already know? What would I tell a friend in my position?
5. Reframe “Wrong” Decisions
What if, instead of fearing the wrong choice, you trusted that every decision teaches you something valuable? No matter what happens, you're learning, growing, and adjusting. That's how confidence is built.
The More You Trust Yourself, the Easier Decisions Become
Trusting yourself isn't about always knowing the answer—it's about believing that you'll figure it out. The more you practice listening to your own voice, the easier decisions will feel.
If decision paralysis is something you struggle with, I wrote a full guide on how to stop second-guessing yourself and start making choices with clarity. You can check it out here: Am I Making the Right Decision?
At the end of the day, you already have the answers inside of you. You just have to start trusting yourself enough to listen.
